Sometimes things break, it’s an unfortunate fact of life. Take my heart, for example: battered and bruised, trampled by the beastly hooves of lust and love. Broken. But this isn’t about me, mofos, this is about wine. ‘Cause wine gets broken too, and it bleeds red like the rest of us.
Not all hope is lost though – we all deserve a second chance, right? Here at the ‘Fo we’ve cancelled silly season and decided to celebrate Salvation season instead, ‘cause sometimes our lovely couriers bump our bottles a little too hard. Whenever this happens, the whole case gets marked as damaged and sent back to our warehouse. You know what they say, one bad pinot ruins an order of vino. They do say that, right? They should.
This puts us in a bit of a bind. We’ve got all this delicious, undamaged vino but nowhere to send it. Sure, we could divvy it up at the Christmas party, but Christmas is a time for sharing and the ‘Fo family will manage without raiding the wine wasting away in our warehouse. That’s where you come in, my merry little mofos.
We’re sending you a dozen Chrysteries (Christmas mysteries, feel free to use that). We can’t promise what they’ll be, but we can tell you there’s up to $500 worth of value comin’ at ya. There’ll be reds, whites, rosé and maybe even a cheeky little champers to help you celebrate this bargain. Each case is unique – just like you mofos – and while they may not have made it to their original owners, we’re sure these vinos will feel perfectly at home with you.
